Overcoming Adversity

Everyone faces adversity in the workplace and at home.  Whether it’s a co-worker who is jealous of your accomplishments, a vindictive supervisor, an unhappy employee whose daily goal is to make everyone else have a lousy day or a teenager at home who has questionable friends, every day presents a new challenge.  When I face daily challenges, I follow a few simple rules that can make the most difficult day an enjoyable one.

Spirituality/Prayer

Spirituality and prayer can be a powerful force for stress relief. Every day before I go to work and on my way home, I pray for my co-workers, family and friends.  Many of them are facing their own sets of challenges with sick or elderly parents, kids who are in trouble, an abusive spouse, financial stress and the list goes on.  If you think about it, by the time you get to work, there is an incredible dynamic of people of all different backgrounds and experiences, coming to one place to accomplish a goal of making your company perform like a well-oiled machine bringing their own experiences both negative and positive to the workplace.  If that’s not a recipe for prayer, I don’t know what is.  To learn more about the power of prayer and spirituality and how it relates to stress relief, check out this Mayo Clinic article.

Attitude

I have found that attitude has a lot to do with how I react to different experiences throughout the day.  When I go to work with issues and concerns about things happening elsewhere, I find myself bringing baggage with me at work.  It’s like going on a flight.  Check your bags and forget about them until you arrive at your destination.

Let your positive attitude be contagious.  People like being around positive-minded people.  When you surround yourself with people who are negative and every goal is impossible to achieve, you will fail.  Oftentimes, I have found that my attitude and not my co-workers is the thing that is holding back our success.  Don’t let your attitude be the reason why goals aren’t accomplished or why your co-workers are having a bad day.

Give

You’ve heard the old saying “it’s better to give than receive.”  It’s true.  Go to a soup kitchen and help feed the homeless or go to an organization like Habitat for Humanity or the Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts of America and work on a community service project.  Reaching out to injured military service personnel like Wounded Warriors or being a volunteer for newly settled Syrian refugees will quickly put things back in perspective.

What does this have to do with adversity at work or home?  Everything.  Organizing a community service project with your co-workers, enables you to build a stronger community both outside your workplace and within your office.

Communicate

Communication within your workplace and at home is very important.  Many misunderstandings stem from miscommunication.  Email is easily misinterpreted.  How many times have you sent what you thought was a clear message only to get responses back that totally misconstrued your original message?

It might make sense to get up from behind your desk, walk over to the person you were sending an email to and have a conversation.  In a world of texts, SnapChat, and online messaging, it’s refreshing to have an “old-fashioned” face-to-face conversation.

Conclusion

Whether you are at work or at home, I recommend starting and ending your day with prayer (sometime you need to keep praying throughout the day especially when it’s an overly challenging one), have a positive attitude, have a charitable heart giving back to your community whenever you can and keep your lines of communication open and clear.  Using these simple guidelines can help anyone successfully deal with adversity.

If you want to learn more about me, please visit my LinkedIn profile, my website and my blog.

Photo credit: jlwo via Foter.com / CC BY-NC

Set Goals Not Resolutions

It’s that time of year again.  Time to start your New Year’s resolutions and after the first of the year, if you are like me, you will have already given up on keeping your resolutions.  Why do we fail keeping our resolutions?  Making a promise without a plan or accountability is worthless.

Setting Goals

Think about all of the things that you want to accomplish in the next 12 months.  I recommend that you select 10 reasonable goals. The operative word is reasonable.  If one of your goals is to scale Mount Everest but you have never climbed a mountain and haven’t been training to do so, that’s probably not reasonable.

Write your goals down.  This will help you remember what your goals are and keep track of your progress achieving them.  To make your goals attainable, you need to create a timeline for each of them.  I wouldn’t make the deadline for all of your goals to all be accomplished the end of the year.  Schedule them throughout the year so you can celebrate each of your goals that are achieved.

Obstacles

It’s also important to identify the obstacles that could get in your way to achieve each of your goals.  There are always obstacles.  If there weren’t, all of our goals would be easily met.  Identify anything that is going to get in your way and plan to overcome those obstacles.

Assistance

 Often goals cannot be achieved on your own.  Most of my goals require help from colleagues, friends and family.  For each of your goals, make sure that you list everyone who you will need to help you.

Skills and Abilities

Sometimes we are aggressive with our goal setting, but haven’t completely determined if we have the appropriate skills and abilities to achieve those goals.  Research what you need to do to acquire those skills and abilities and do it.

Make Your Goals into an Actionable Plan

Once you have put your list of goals together with a timeline for each one, identified your obstacles, added the people who can help you, and received the skills and abilities to accomplish those goals, you can create and execute your plan.

The only New Year’s resolution that should be made this year is to never do New Year’s resolutions anymore.  Set reasonable, attainable goals and develop an action plan to complete them.

If you want to learn more about me, please visit my LinkedIn profile, my website and my blog.

Photo credit: jazzlog / Foter.com / CC BY-NC

Your Holiday Survival Guide

It’s that time of year again.  Before the Halloween decorations were taken down at the stores, the Christmas trees were already up.  Rock music stations were already switching their music to holiday music on November 1st.  It seems that retailers want you to get in the buying mood earlier and earlier every year.  Commercialism is everywhere just as Charlie Brown described almost 50 years ago in “A Charlie Brown Christmas”.  Bob Rivers released a funny song called the “Twelve Pains of Christmas” several years ago that sums up how some people feel about the holidays.

Here are my top 10 recommendations of how you can survive the holidays.

1. Make sure you tell your parents, in-laws, grandparents or whoever prepares the Christmas dinner in your house that it’s delicious. Even if the turkey is left-over from Thanksgiving, the lasagna is overcooked and the mashed potatoes look like the cottage cheese.  They worked very hard on the meal.  I recommend that you tell them early in the meal or you will get KP duty and will be doing the dishes long after Uncle Joe and Aunt Audrey have gone to bed.
2. Don’t mess with tradition. If you do certain things every year, regardless of how redundant it seems, keep doing them.  One year we decided to change the Christmas menu from ham and lasagna to boiled fish.  We barely survived the meal.  Needless to say the old tradition returned and thankfully without bloodshed toward the family member who suggested changing the tradition that year.
3. When you get a fruitcake, look at it as a piece of history. It’s probably been around a lot longer than you have.  Graciously accept it, re-wrap it and send it on to the next victim.
4. Don’t get stressed over sending Christmas cards. Some families send 10-page letters updating you on Baby Sally’s first dirty diaper. I always enjoy receiving Christmas cards from people I don’t even know.  I think some people send Christmas cards to random people just to mess with them.  I like the JibJab online Christmas cards.  They are funny and easy to send.  It gives you more time to stress out about something else.
5. Listen to Christmas music and let it take you back to your childhood. When I was growing up, we had several albums (for anyone under 30, you call them “vinyls”) that we listened to every year.  There was a great collection of Christmas music that you could purchase from your local Firestone store.  I really like Volume 3.  Hopefully, the music can take you back to less stressful times.  In my opinion, they don’t make Christmas albums like this anymore.
6. Bake Christmas goodies. Nothing smells better than freshly baked Christmas cookies, pies and cakes.  My mom used to make poppy seed and nut rolls and pineapple icebox cake.  I can still smell and taste those delicious treats.  Baked goods seem to put everyone in a good mood.  Every year, we bake a birthday cake for Jesus.  No we don’t put over 2,000 candles on the cake.  It’s against fire regulations in most states.  Since it is Jesus’ birthday we are celebrating, we like to remember Him.  It helps keep things in perspective for the holidays.
7. For those who live in snowy areas, enjoy the beauty. Go ride a horse-drawn sleigh and drink some hot chocolate. Forget that it’s 40 below zero and you won’t see spring flowers until August.  Last year, I was in West Michigan where we had seven foot snow drifts.  That’s a dusting if you live in Buffalo.  For those in warm places like Florida, feel sorry for everyone else who is shoveling and salting their driveways every 15 minutes.
8. Go “clipping” on Christmas Eve. Clipping is the art of gently nudging another person’s shopping cart and making it look like it was an accident or better yet, go unnoticed.  The more carts you clip, the more points you get.  If it’s obvious to the victim or your competition, you lose points. Let’s face it, the people who are shopping on Christmas Eve aren’t very organized.  Their stress level is through the roof along with all of the other last minute shoppers. People are out there like Arnold Schwarzenegger was in “Jingle All The Way.” There are some people out there more stressed than you are.  My siblings and I used to purposely go out clipping on Christmas Eve, and then we would go into a store separately, act like we didn’t know each other and start fighting over the same item.  It was wildly entertaining to all of the other stressed out people in the store.
9. Don’t fight over the bathroom. When you have 30 relatives staying with you including Uncle Frank who has irritable bowl syndrome all from 6 different families fighting over the one bathroom with questionable plumbing, relax.  There are 24-hour stores all over the place with bathrooms.  It will give you an excuse to escape the chaos for an hour or so.  All of this will pass.  No pun intended.
10. Go to a Christmas Eve or Christmas Day church service. I went to a Jesuit high school and we used to have the most beautiful midnight mass services on Christmas Eve.  This candlelight service was very peaceful.  At midnight, we would blow the candles out and they would have several trumpets play “Joy to the World”.  Just make sure you don’t eat too much Christmas Eve or you’ll end up snoring during the candlelight service.  Not good.  We would come home and watch the Pope saying midnight mass and have cooked kielbasa after the mass.  Don’t ask me why, but it was another tradition we just didn’t mess with.  I’m sure you have some unique traditions in your family.  Remember point number 2, don’t mess with tradition.

This time of year is supposed to focus on the birth of Christ, giving and sharing.  It’s a time for family and friends, warm thoughts and warm hearts.  When the chaos, family disagreements and stress of the holidays starts to get you down, take a deep breath, smile a lot and enjoy the holidays for what they were intended to be.

Stay Positive, Be Patient and Persevere

Things don’t always go the way you planned.  Let’s face it, you will have your share of good days and bad days.  Everyone around you has good days and bad days. It’s not unique to just you.  It’s a fact that you can’t control what you can’t control. When people around me have a bad day, they often take their frustrations out on me, and then I start to have a bad day.  Being negative is like a cancer that spreads.  Bad, negative things will happen.  The key is how you handle it when it comes your way.  Having a positive attitude is key.

When was the last time you said to yourself “I want to be miserable today, so I’m going to hang with someone who is already miserable?”  I would imagine not very often.  People don’t like to be around people who are going to bring them down.  Stay positive even when negative things happen.

I know a man named Bob who has been blind for most of his life due to a disease that took away his sight at a young age.  He could be miserable or angry, but he isn’t.  He’s one of the most positive, inspiring people that I know.  His positive attitude and faith in God are an inspiration to everyone around him.

Successful people stay positive despite setbacks.  Thomas Edison once said “I have not failed.  I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”  Edison took a positive spin on a negative situation and he didn’t give up.

Here are some tips that I use to keep positive.

• Volunteer and serve others – It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself when you have a bad day, but remember to serve those who are less fortunate than you to keep things in perspective. Helping others is a great way to get rid of negative thoughts.
• Speak positively about those around you – Don’t repay evil with evil. If someone says something negative, say something positive back.
• Smile – It sounds trivial, but it works. Regardless of how bad things seem, it will turn around. Smile through the tough times.
• Laughter is good medicine – Watch a funny movie or if you don’t have time, watch a funny scene on YouTube.
• Talk to a friend or family member – I find that talking things over with a friend or family member helps me put things back into perspective.
• Pray – Talking to God about what is bothering you is also important. He listens all the time.  Prayers do get answered.

Finally, when things start getting negative, stay positive. Be strong and courageous.  Remember, when the glass is half empty, it’s really half full and you can fill it to overflowing with a positive attitude and taking positive actions in your life.

Stay positive, be patient and persevere.